Retrospect (I'm writing this on Day 20
Ok, the majority of the day was spent again on long roads with corn and wheat planted on either side. To pass the the time, I decided to wave at trains to see if they would wave back at me. It turned out that they DID wave back! Only, rather than a actual, physical wave, they did it through their horn. You know when your rap on a door like this, "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock....." and someone raps back, "Knock KNOCK!" Well, the trains did that whole routine with their horns! I decided to try to capture the event on video. These four videos document my efforts:
Waving at Trains Part 1
Waving at Trains Part 2
Waving at Trains Part 3
Waving at Trains Part 4
And now the moment you've all been waiting for: THE MORRISTOWN MYSTERY!!!!!!!!
There I was, tooling through the lovely little town of Morristown, IL. They painted a few of their buildings with murals which I thought were attractive, so I included a few. The mystery began when I came to a one way section of road that was being blocked for construction. After avoiding this whole mess by simply hopping up on the elevated sidewalk, I made the fateful decision to actually go BACK to the beginning and film it!
That fateful decision, to go back was what started the Morrisville Mystery. Before I go on, you must watch the video of my going back. Here it is:
How the Morristown Mystery Began
Well, after completing this video, God got me for my hubris. What I had failed to do, when I started the video was to zip up the pouch from which I got my camera/phone. The pouch sits on the front of my handlebars, between the aerobars. Although it is secured to the aerobars, any little jolt could send the contents flying if the pouch was open. It just so happens that inside that pouch was my license, a credit card and an insurance card; essential identification and payment method necessary for me to complete the trip. After filming the video, I looked down at the unzipped pouch and immediately began to sink into despair. Without even checking, I realized that the journey on the sidewalk had been EXTREMELY bumpy and if the cards were still in the pouch, it would take a MIRACLE.
I realized that a miracle would be a little tough to ask for at that moment, since I had already tested God's patience by trying to show what a bright and clever human I was. God's not much for showoffs. To be honest though, at that moment, there was another entity I feared more than God, and that was the wrath of my beloved wife! She married me for better or worse, and has patiently put up with my absent mindedness since our whole relationship started. I in turn, have repaid her with the stubbornness of a five year old who is tired of hearing the same warning from their exhausted parent. To J's, "Do you have you cards?" I would say, "YES I HAVE THEM!" To her, "Do you check to see if you have your cards every time you stop and take off again?" I would obstinately bark, "YES MOTHER!!"
Well this time I hadn't. Here I was, halfway across the US without a license or insurance card, and no easy or quick way to replace them. But remember, this all was happening in my head. I hadn't actually checked the pouch yet. The pouch that I was SUPPOSED TO CHECK BEFORE I TOOK OFF.
So I checked.....
and they were gone....
My heart raced. I immediately hopped back on my bike and retraced the path I had taken. It was EXTREMELY bumpy and the cards could have flown ANYWHERE, so I looked EVERYWHERE.
After the first pass I got nothing, but the confused look of the construction workers who had seen me already pass through there once.
On the second pass, I started to negotiate with God. I'd be a better man, I'd mend my ways, I'd never talk back to my wife again. I even prayed to St. Anthony and told him I'd put a good word in for him to be reinstated if he would help me find my cards! Second pass through....NOTHING.
I made another pass through, all the while thinking....how can I get a copy of my license Fed-Exed to the middle of the country. All the while realizing YOU CAN'T A REPLACEMENT COPY OF YOUR LICENSE FED EXED TO THE MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRY.
At the end of the third pass, I decided to cycle to the last place I remember using my cards: the Casey's Mart about a half mile down the road
As I pulled up to the Casey's and prepared to ask the ridiculous question: "Did anyone return a license, insurance card and a credit card to you?" it occurred to me to do a bit more thorough search of my pack. I did so, and UNDERNEATH the spare battery which was already laying flat in the pack I found...............................................................................MY MISSING CARDS!!!!!!!!!!
Waves of JOY overtook me as I thanked God, St. Anthony and everyone else. But I especially thanked my WIFE. Because, although I had not initially checked the pouch before I took off, she had ingrained in me the habit of CHECKING. And thus, I went into the Casey's, and explained to the bewildered clerk, who had seen me jumping for joy outside her window, what had happened. I asked her to give me a video reminder of what I should always know. And gave me this Lesson Learned from my Morristown Mysetery
Lesson Learned from the Morristown Mystery
So what's the mystery? Well for one, my phone has a GPS tracker on it, and for an hour or so, my wife saw me going back and forth in the same spot! But the bigger mystery is how those cards got UNDERNEATH my spare battery. Based on the way I packed them, which was on TOP of the battery, they actually should have flown out of my pouch! As a matter of fact, the odds of the battery bouncing UP while they bounced DOWN and underneath the battery are astronomical.
The answer: God was secretly colluding with my wife to mess with me and make SURE that I check my stuff EVERY time before I take off. He wanted to teach me a lesson. And the lesson was and is:
Lesson Learned from the Morristown Mystery
There was much more that happened to me on Day 18, but losing and finding the proof of my existence and the ability to pay for stuff pretty much overshadowed everything else.
Thank you J for marrying me. You didn't just save my life brown eyes, you gave me a reason for living! ( Sentimental quote from King of Queens)
No comments:
Post a Comment